I had a flashback memory this morning, as I am wont to do. Those who know me likely know that I love sarcasm and the absurdities of life. I think that’s why I love my church lady character Ethel Jane so much. She allows me to share my many absurd stories from the church and make people laugh; when I tell them out of character, they’re not nearly so funny. Folks, I remind you that this story is true and funny stuff like this should not be wasted because of pious indignity. Goodness, we need to laugh at ourselves!
You know that folks are always attempting to get one over on God and find a way to justify their bad behavior. Like the ones who got pregnant before marriage, but pretend that God didn’t notice, because they got married before it became obvious to everyone. Come on, now. And all those high and mighties who did have pre-marital sex but managed to dodge the bullet need not boast about their ‘purity’, either.
Well, back to my story…Now you all know that lots of conservative folks have difficulty with card playin’, lottery tickets, and the like, because they think it smacks of gambling. So all that stuff belongs in the no-no bin. Now these days, BINGO is huge and there are all kinds of fancy new contraptions used so that people can buy umpteen cards, manage them and win big bucks (um, that’s gamblin’). The stakes are pretty high too; I mean you can win (and lose!) some serious money just playing BINGO these days—who knew??
Well my friend and I were discussing different activities that we could do for a senior citizens activity, and she suggested that we play Jesus Bingo like they did at their church. What did you say??? I never heard of ‘Jesus Bingo’ in my life. Serious as a heart attack, folks, and my friend described how they swapped out the letters for Bingo with Jesus. For example, they would call out J-15, instead of B-15, etc.—get it??
See? They’re not playing BINGO---heck, no—they’re just praisin’ the Lord!!!1 YCMTSU, folks!!! See, when you win, you raise your hands and shout JESUS!!!! I can only picture their pastor in his office being touched by the sound of the old ladies praising the Lord ecstatically. He must have thought there was a heck of a prayer meetin’ goin’ on in the other room—somebody was prayin’ through for sure.
Come on people, really? I just wrote a new praise and worship song to go along with the Jesus game, and here it is…
God the Father had a son and Jesus was His Name-O
J-E-S-U-S, J-E-S-U-S, J-E-S-U-S
And Jesus was His Name-O
Does this make you feel a little uncomfortable? Does it get under your skin a little? Good!! My job for today is finished! But, talking about flashbacks there’s one more thing I have to tell you…dag nab it!! God won’t let me throw stones without sharing my own bout with idiocy. True confession here. Again.
One time I got the brilliant idea that we could re-write and Christianize the words to I Am Woman. Oh, Yes, I did!!
I am Christian hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back and pretend…..
Blah blah blah
What was I thinking!!! Lord, have mercy. Guess it takes one to know one, huh? They say confession is good for the soul…in time, maybe, but right now I just feel stupid.
YCMTSU, my friends and until next time…..
October 12, 2012
by Dr. Rebecca Thomas